It’s Not My Fault
Saturday, 9 September 1995
Hey, it’s not my fault.
He was just standing there.
I can’t help it if he didn’t have any clothes on.
It’s the homophobe’s worse nightmare. A gay man let loose in the locker room of any of your trendy health clubs. And, yes, the gay man is me. The time was yesterday.
I was changing clothes, not lingering. It’s not my fault. I have eyes. I wasn’t staring. Not too much anyway. If I looked straight ahead, he was in my field of view. I looked straight ahead. Several times. But, I didn’t stare. It’s not my fault he wasn’t wearing any clothes. I’m not responsible that he had just the right amount of fur covering his nice tight butt. Hey, I was moving as fast as I can!
Seriously, though, a lot of heterosexual men get really uptight about being seen (or watched, if you prefer) in the locker room. Why? I don’t know. I just think they think that we (the gay men of America) are all out to get them. I don’t know about that. Gay men just have a healthy fantasy life. Personally, all men are gay. It’s much simpler that way. It would be even simpler if those homophobic dudes just chilled out and accept whatever attention we’re giving them. After all, there’s nothing to fear from us, right? We’re all girlie men, eh?
I think the problem is that those guys are afraid … of a couple of things. They’re afraid they might enjoy the attention. Or, that they might be treated by us the way they treat women. Maybe they think that we won’t take “no” for an answer. Hey, “no” means no, unless they’re being coy like they accuse women of being. Remember what FDR said. To paraphrase, you have nothing to fear but fear itself.
So, homophobic men of America, be cool. The next time you’re in the locker room, or on the streets, or anywhere, and you catch me giving you the eye, don’t fret about it. It just means you’re a hot looking dude and you should be proud of that.
After all, it’s not my fault!
Ciao for now!